Monday, August 26, 2019

Pick me.....pick me!!!

These past two weeks have been extremely busy at the hospital. For a few days we had over 35 patients on our service which is just insane. Two doctors a day, split 12 hours each trying to care for all of those people and all of the emergencies that come in is, well, a lot. Things were probably not done as effectively as they should have been and some things probably got missed or overlooked. 

It was a rough few days and it took its toll on me. But then this week the census was much more manageable and it was like the Lord was saying, see….sometimes really good things happen….

Almost every conversation here with a patient or family member goes through a translator. Because even though I speak French, many of the families here do not. They speak one of about 15 tribal languages. So normally, it goes French through a translator to the patient and/or family. Because this is how it works, I will typically go and examine kids and then go back with a translator to explain the plan for the day, what we are doing, etc.

Almost every bed here is located in an open ward with beds beside each other.  That can vary from 3 beds in a room to some big wards that hold 9-10 beds. So when you are talking with a  family everyone hears what you are saying. 

It is malaria season and I have written often of the tragedy that comes with malaria. But I do think it’s worth sharing some of the successes we have too. It is true that we see a lot of kids succumb to malaria but there are even more that get to leave, recovering or cured and do well. 
I do these “are they ready to go?” rounds every morning and every afternoon. Sitting up, awake, eating, these are things I look for to see if they can go home. Sometimes I walk through and kids have a plate of traditional pate and sauce and they are shoveling it in. Well, that’s an easy one….discharge home. More often though it becomes this almost a game. I see a kid with his eyes open and tell the family, “ok if he can eat something and sit up maybe he can go home later.” That’s all it takes and next thing you know they have propped up the kid and are giving him bouille, which is like a porridge. Sometimes the family will call me over and show me kind of like, “see…see he is doing it.” It becomes funny at times because parents seem to be like, “ok there she is, this is our shot to go….”

This past weekend I walked through the ward and told one family their child would be discharged and the Dad of the kid in the next bed tapped me on the arm and pointed at his child. So I sat him up, awake but pretty weak and the Dad kept calling his name. The kid would just cut his eyes over to look at his dad every time and then look forward again. Almost like, really dad, I hear you, why do keep calling my name. It was so funny. Needless to say, that child also got to go home that day. 

It can be rough here, not going to lie, but there are times when it is very sweet as well. Please pray for the hospital, the nurses, the aids, the doctors as we continue to walk through very difficult days of malaria. However, rejoice with us as well as we see many kids go back home with their families, recovered. 


If you would ever feel like contributing to the work here at the Hospital of Hope, you can do so at this link: www.abwe.org/give 
click give now, then search for HOH Togo pediatric care. This fund allows us to help families pay for their bills when they are not able to do so.


Saturday, July 20, 2019

Reality





I get asked from time to time, “so what’s life like there?” So this blog is going to be my reality. The good and the bad of it. This is where I live: 




It is pretty nice. However, that roof is metal and on hot days, which is most of them, it’s like an oven inside. We do have A/C in one room so I stay in there most of the time. 








This is my transportation: 

Always a lot of fun and really the most practical way to get around on dirt roads. Most of my days are spent at work but on my days off its laundry, cooking, cleaning, all the same stuff that occupy days off in the US. 







Working at the hospital here is my ministry and why I am here. We do shifts, either days or nights and when I am on I am responsible for all of the medicine patients. We are extremely pediatrics heavy and on most days, 80-90% of the admitted patients are pediatrics. We also have a very busy NICU and usually at least have 3-4 preemie infants admitted as well.  During a normal day, I will round in the morning and then take care of any urgent or ER type patients that may come in. There are some days when I am like, “yep I got this, no worries.” But there are many when I plead with the Lord for help because I don’t have the right answer or know exactly what the right thing is to do. The Psalmist says it plainly, “I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121: 1-2. I find myself praying this prayer often. 

It is hard to be here at times. There is so much poverty, illness, death, and disease. We try fiercely, as a medical staff, to stand in the gap and to intervene when we can but death still comes. It comes like a thief in the night. We are in malaria season now and every year this disease breaks my heart as I see it steal kids from this life so quickly or it devastates them to the point of needing full time care and a feeding tube. 1 – 3 million people …..that is a big number. That is roughly the population of cities like Houston or Chicago. That is also the number of people that die every year from Malaria. Of those 1-3 million deaths, 80-90% are children under the age of 5.

A limp child is brought in to the ER area. He is unresponsive. His breathing is not good. Glucose check and its normal. We start bagging. Heart rate is ok. As we work, the family gives the story, 2 days of vomiting and fever at home. They took him to a clinic today, had a malaria test that was positive and he got a shot and told to come here for anemia. We continue to bag him while an IV is placed and IVF given. Labs are drawn and he starts breathing better. He’s placed on oxygen and I walk away for a few minutes. I am then called back over shortly and he is again not breathing. I check his pupils and they are now both fully dilated and fixed. He has no respirations at all. And just like that malaria has taken another one. I talk with the family through and translator and tell them how sorry I am but their child is dead. The nurses go about taking out the IV and cleaning everything up and I go back to another chart, another patient. All women here carry their children on their backs, held there by a piece of material. It is like a better but different baby bjorn. I happen to look over a few minutes later and the family is helping to put the child on the mom’s back so they can take him home for burial. This was not a new site for me, I have seen families carry out dead kids on their backs before but every time, including this one, I just stopped and my heart ached for them….They came for healing and with hope and it was too late….there was nothing to do….the thief of malaria had taken another one. 



Twins are prevalent here….we see them no uncommonly. However recently we had 6 sets of premature twins admitted in our hospital. I am pretty sure that is a record for us.  They are super cute but given their prematurity and all of the potential complications that come with that they are a ton of work. And, it’s very confusing trying to keep them all straight J. Are these the boy twins, the girl twins, are they one boy and one girl. Are you sure this is baby “A” and that’s baby “B”? So, for a long time now, even when our numbers of twins have not been this high, we started wrapping tape around one leg of each to “label” them as “A” or “B.” 
This is one set here that is close to being discharged.

                            Photo used with permission

Sometimes, after they are discharged and come back for follow up appointments, they still have the tape markers on. These kids are usually in the hospital for a month or two so it allows us to easily make relationships with the mom. She is a captive audience so to speak of all that is happening and going on. Please pray for us that we can display the love of Christ to her in how we care for her and for her babies. As we walk through this very up and down course that is preemie care, may these moms see Christ in us. Often, we don’t have the words to comfort or to console but may our actions display His love to them. So, as cute as they are, I am ready for all the twins to stop for a while. JThese kids rack up quite a bill for their stay, especially with twins. We have a fund that helps these families subsidize their hospital bill and if you ever feel like contributing you may do so through www.abwe.org then go to support….missionaries & projects….HOH Togo Pediatric Care. 


Sacrifice to prayer…..

Many of you know and follow my story of Tama and how his family have become Christians since his death. This tribe is GanGam and very spiritually dark. They do sacrifices, have witch doctors, and have some of the darkest practices that I have ever heard about. I remember the first few times I met Tama’s dad and how I could just feel the oppression in him. He was a witch doctor in this tribe before becoming a Christian. There is now a church in their village where the two Bible studies have merged to form this body of believers. I attend when I can and I am not working. So, not often but I try. Here are a couple pictures of the church. 





The service is conducted in a tribal language of which I only know the greeting, so for most of it, I just sit and smile. There is always singing and even without the language, you can hear the joy. This past week, a woman got up at the end and gave a report about how she used to do sacrifices, according to tribal custom, when she needed something or had an affliction in hopes that the sacrifice would appease whomever or whatever and the thing she was asking for or needed would happen. But now, she says that since she has Jesus, she no longer needs to find a sacrifice or to do those rituals anymore because she can just pray about it and bring it before the Lord. From darkness to light is happening here and it is an amazing thing to see the Lord bring these people to Himself first-hand. 


Friday, May 31, 2019

Far from the Shallow....







I know that it has been WAY too long since my last blog post. I apologize for the absence and please know that I do recognize that many of you count on these to connect to what I am doing in Togo. The absence has been a long one and frankly I just was not in a place to impart anything. It has been a time of introspection that has been unbridled and raw. It has also been a time of physical thorns in the flesh given to me and forced me to cry out to the Lord in a new and uninhibited way. One thing that I have learned is that nothing will force your dependence on God quite like physical pain that you are powerless to combat. 

Even though the Lord has been taking me through a season that has left me raw, battered, and bruised (physically and emotionally) I am at a place where I can say that at least now I am in the fight and not merely just a bystander. 

I have come back to where I love the Psalms. I think they display a realness in David especially. He was called, “a man after God’s own heart” and yet he struggled and lamented with the Lord so often. Psalms 42 says, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him….” V. 5
I find it comforting knowing that someone so highly esteemed by the Lord struggled as I do at times. 

It is easy, well easier, to go about life half engaged, half-hearted, and lackadaisical. It is especially easy in Togo, because so often the things pressing in are hard things. Hard cases in the hospital that despite efforts just don’t turn out as you hoped and prayed. Patients that show up just too late to save for reasons as trivial to us as they couldn’t find a moto to bring them. Trying to reconcile my mind and heart around these things day in and day out can easily overwhelm.  

We were created to feel, to experience, to savor this life. Why then do I fight that tendency? Because to feel, experience and savor here is most times trying, sad, and just hard. 

So to play off of a very popular song right now, I am far from the shallow….I am way out in the deep end, floating at times but mostly frantically treading to keep my head above water. Even though, at times, I want to stop and sink I know that what I need to do, what the Lord has for me,  is to stay out here….far out here…….

I hope these songs can maybe meet you where you are. There are moments and days when all I have been able to do to connect with God is to turn on a song. These have become those songs for me. 

God of all comfort….Iron Bell

When I fall apart…. You sustain my heart….You rush in…. and begin …..to comfort me

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction...” 2 Corinthians 1:3


You Say….Lauren Daigle

You say I am loved….when I can’t feel a thing….You say I am strong when I think I am weak….You say I am held when I have fallen short…..and when I don’t belong you say I am yours….and I believe… what you say of me….I believe

But God.....

  I am a little over 2 weeks away from leaving Togo and moving back to the US. My time in Togo, West Africa has been one filled with so so m...